this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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