i just had sex bonerless
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
