put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i now understand why vodka
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
