I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
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These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have feelings that need drinking.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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