And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize