i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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