I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
