He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
