Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
