whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
