I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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