you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
