hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
