Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
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You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
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Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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