I like to think it a success when the cops are called
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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