i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
