Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The best revenge is premature balding
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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