Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
