his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize