Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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