maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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