did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
