Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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