I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
