I've blown a few things in my day
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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