So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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