You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize