is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
