Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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