How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
