why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
