So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
