you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
