WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
