Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
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