wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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