ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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