if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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