this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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