I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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