We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
