honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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