that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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