I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
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I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think my moral compass just broke
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