She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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