You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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