guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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