last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
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sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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