New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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