His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
is wine microwaveable?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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