the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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