My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
