3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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