That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
