He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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