i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
