dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize