Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
