Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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