i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
