can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
