Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
