it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
barbara walters just said penis...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
